Smile! You're on Candid Camera!

It took me awhile, but I finally got a pic of Peanut smiling! This was taken on one of the nice, warm days we had in March, and I was able to break out some of the cute dresses she has. Now it feels like winter again. There were even flurries yesterday! Oh well, guess we're stuck inside for a little longer.


Medical update ... Peanut went in for her second ABR last week and they found the same results as the first test - borderline moderate/severe hearing loss in both ears. The doctors and audiologists were very adamant about her getting hearing aids as soon as possible so that she doesn't miss out on too much. So, we have an appt with Easter Seals next week to have a hearing aid evaluation. Hopefully by the end of April she'll have both hearing aids. I'm anxious to see her response when she finally has the aids. Will she be scared by all the noises, will she be curious, will she try and turn them off when I talk? We'll just have to wait and see.


One of the big challenges we'll be facing is keeping the hearing aids in her ears. She's getting to the point where she realizes she can pull the tape off of her oxygen tubing, so she's not too far away from being able to pull a hearing aid out of her ear. The state is sending over a DTH (Developmental Therapist for Hearing) twice a month to help us by offering techniques to keeping her hearing aids in and to give us some general guidance on how we can help Peanut to handle all the new sounds she'll be experiencing. The DTH will work with Charlotte for the first year and then a speech therapist takes over for as long as needed. I guess the immediate focus is to work on the hearing side and then later work on the verbal.


This past Monday was another follow-up with the Ophthalmologist. He said her eyes haven't changed so we don't have to go back until next month and that should be our last appt! Yay! Nothing against the eye doctor (he's a very nice man), but I really don't like going to that appt. Neither does Peanut. The doctor has to pry her eyes open and then move the eyeballs around with this wand thing. Granted, they do give her numbing drops, but it's still traumatic for both of us. Plus she's getting stronger, so she doesn't just sit there and take it like she used to. She's starting to fight back. He also mentioned that she's near-sighted, so I'll find out at the next appt when we have to see someone about that. Hopefully not for awhile. I can't imagine they can do anything at this point. But then again I'm shocked at what they're able to do for her hearing so early.


I signed up for the Intro to Psych class, which starts in mid-June at the local Community College. When I went to register online I kept receiving error messages that they had already received my application. I thought maybe I was going crazy - did I already register and just forget? Turns out they had me on their database from a summer science program I did there when I was 12! So, of course, it took me days to get them to change my info on their system and finally get me registered.


That's all for now.

Happy Spring!!

And for you Southern Hemisphere folks, Happy Autumn!

Remember that skinny little thing in the last bathtub shot? Well, check out this chunky monkey! 9 1/2 pounds, baby!! Look at that gut! Although, it's possible that she was a little gassy that night. She also looks a little more relaxed this time around.

Yes, I've been a bit slack with the posting lately. So let's see what's been going on .....

Charlotte had her Early Intervention evaluation in the beginning of March. There was an Occupational Therapist, Physical Therapist, Speech Therapist, Developmental Therapist, the Coordinator and myself all scrunched into Charlotte's room at once. The only person who thought she needed some ongoing treatment was the Physical Therapist. Nothing major, just working on keeping her head looking in both directions and getting her neck stronger. Nothing that doesn't affect full-term babies as well. So at some point the state is going to send over a Physical Therapist to work with Charlotte on a regular basis. Luckily I work with her on my own, because it appears that the state doesn't work too fast. Surprize - Surprize.

Aunt Kari came in from St. Louis for a visit in early March. I even got the chance to go out with her for a bit and do a little shopping. You know you've got a crazy life when you're excited about buying yourself pajama pants and slippers. :-)

We finally got to see the GI (Gastrointestinal) doctor about her reflux and he seemed to think that she was doing fabulous; and he said she's much better off than most of the other babies he sees (I'm feeling pretty confident that that was the proper use of a semi-colon. Feel free to challenge me). At least it doesn't appear to hinder her eating and sleeping too much, so in that respect she's doing well. I'm just eagerly anticipating her outgrowing the foaming at the mouth, gagging, and waking up unable to breathe. That will be a good day for Peanut. However, I was happy to find out that the doctors are not going to take away her heart and O2 monitors until we feel comfortable with that change. Personally, I think she's going to have to be "episode-free" for quite awhile before I feel comfortable having her be without them. Maybe when she turns 18 and goes off to college. But seriously, it's comforting to know that I can make the call on that.

The Ophthalmologist saw her again in mid-March and he seems to be under the impression that while the retinopothy of prematurity (blood vessels growing all crazy) is not getting any worse, it also might not get any better, which he has assured me will not affect her eyesight in the long run. So we will continue to go back every couple weeks just to be sure. I'm hoping in the next month or so he gives us the sign-off and then we can cross one doctor off of our list.

Only to be replaced by new ones .... the audiologist and speech pathologist. Or is it speech therapist? I don't know the difference at this point. I think this is where I need to go back and brush up on my terminology, like "frequency" and "tone". Who knew that I should have actually paid attention in Music Appreciation class (or shown up for that matter)? Charlotte had her Audiology follow-up test yesterday. This was the two-hour long ABR (auditory brainstem response) test for which she needed to be asleep. The doctor put several electrodes on Peanut's head that read her brain waves as he played different sounds through little earplugs. As far as he can tell at the moment she has borderline moderate/severe hearing loss in both ears. We need to go back soon for another ABR so they can test a few more frequencies and redo some of yesterday's testing to check for accuracy and/or hearing loss stablilization (i.e. is it getting worse?). At that point it will be determined what should be pursued next. He seemed pretty confident that with an amplification device (hearing aid(s) or maybe implants down the road) she should be able to hear and speak pretty normally. So, it appears that we have a long road ahead of us, but I've been saying for awhile that if this is the worst thing that Charlotte has to deal with then she's pretty lucky. There are a lot of babies that come out of the NICU much worse off than she is. We can deal with this.

Brian's been busy with work and I'm busy trying to figure out what to do with Peanut in between naps and how to get her to sleep through the night. She's still on the O2. We were able to successfully wean her down to 1/8L, but she doesn't seem ready to take the next step down to 1/16L. I've tried it a couple times and she just doesn't respond very well. Maybe she needs to be a bit stronger. No need to push her. She'll come down when she's ready. The weather has been nice lately so we've been able to get out for a couple walks.

I decided this past weekend that I want to go back to school and take a couple of classes to prepare myself for nursing school. I think I'm going to start this summer and take something low-key like Intro to Psych. The hospital where Charlotte was at has an accelerated nursing program that lasts only 12.5 months for people who already have their bachelors degree, but there are 7 prerequisites I have to take before I can even apply. Stuff like microbiology, organic chemistry - all the classes that I made efforts to avoid when I was in college. So we'll see where this takes me, but I'm excited about the challenge! God you'd think that all the stuff I've been exposed to over the past year would count for at least a couple credits, no?!

I'd like to ask a favor from everyone .... There was a set of triplets born at the hospital two weeks before our kids were born and one of them is still there putting up quite a fight. She lost one of her brothers early on, and her other brother passed away two weeks ago. This little girl needs some positive energy so she can get stronger and get home with her parents. So, if you can please keep her and her family in your prayers I would really appreciate it. Thanks.

Isn't this a cute picture? Brian doesn't seem to agree, but I think it's just adorable. Whadda you think?

Some people have asked if we are open for visitors and the answer is Yes! Please come over ... just as long as you don't have a cold, anyone you live with doesn't have a cold, you or anyone you live with hasn't had a cold recently, you or anyone you live with or anyone you know has never had a cold ... no, we don't have to go that far, but as long as you and yours are healthy please come on by!

Story Time at the Zoo

I think the dogs are starting to get into Charlotte a little more. They come into her room once in awhile for story time and to lick her head. One thing that I thought was kind of interesting is that yesterday when we brought Charlotte out into the family room for a change of scenery (on portable O2, of course), Bart was snarling at Amy everytime she would get near Charlotte. But if they're both in Charlotte's room Bart doesn't care what Amy does. Any suggestions on this one? Do I just let them sort it out, or do I reprimand everytime I see a snarl? I have to take Bart into the vet soon, so I'll ask then, but maybe one of you's has some valuable (i.e. free) advice.

Things have been going pretty smoothly around here. We finally finished with that supply of breast milk, so the freezer in the garage is now freed up for ice cream and chicken when it's on sale. Charlotte's reflux seems to have gotten better since we've switched to a strictly formula diet. She's a much happier baby and is even back to sleeping in her crib sans car seat or bouncy seat. Maybe it was that Mexican food phase I went through for awhile?

Medical Update - We went to see the Ophthalmologist last Monday and he said we didn't have to come back for 3 weeks! Yahoo!! Her eyes are looking better and now he just wants to check them a few more times. I'm pretty positive we've dodged that bullet.

Last Tuesday we went to the Neo-natal follow-up clinic, which is run by various members of the NICU staff as a way of checking up on the progress of the NICU babies once they're discharged. There was talk of starting to wean her off her O2 and maybe taking it down a notch this week. If they do decide to go that route I will be curious to see how she does. She's currently on a flow of 1/4 liter of O2. The next step down is 1/8, then 1/16 and the smallest is 1/32.

The final appt last week was with the Otorhinolaryngologist ("ENT") on Friday. They ran several tests on her ears and we really didn't find out too much information. The doctor doesn't think she has fluid in her ears anymore, but she still didn't pass the hearing tests. She is scheduled to go back in the middle of March for an extensive 2 hour test that will see which tones she can hear and which she can't. I'm hoping that test will give us a more definitive answer as to what direction we need to take.

Later this week we have a team of specialists (speech, audiology, physical therapy, occupational therapy, developmental therapy) coming out to the house from the Early Intervention program to determine if she needs any therapy at this stage. I'm interested to hear what they have to say. If they think she needs anything they will arrange for specialists to come to our house and work with Charlotte. That would be brilliant!

See that pic up above of me and Peanut? I just want to point out to you that in the background is my favorite item in her room - Bongo the dirty laundry hamper. He is awesome and I never tire of throwing dirty clothes in his mouth. I think everyone should have one.

How About Some More FAQ's?

1. How many monitors is she on?

Here's a pic of Charlotte and her peripherals. As you can see there are oxygen tanks to the left of her bed and on top of the purple crates are two monitors. One monitor is connected to her foot and measures her oxygen, while the other has two sensors that go on either side of her chest to keep track of breaths/minute and her heartrate. We don't necessarily need to have the oxygen monitor on at all times. The hospital recommends checking her oxygen saturation 3 times/day, but since she still holds her breath every now and then and she still gags with the reflux, we feel better having it on all the time. There's been a couple times where the oxygen monitor has alarmed way before the heartrate monitor would have gone off, so we were able to catch her having a problem before it really became a problem. The oxygen monitor is going off less and less as the days go on, so as soon as we've had a few days without any problems we'll feel much better about only checking her periodically through the day.

When we leave the house for doctor appts we use small portable oxygen tanks that last up to 6 hours. They're small enough to fit in a backpack. But while we're at home she's pretty much stuck in her room at all times. Even during bath time.

Charlotte's been sleeping in a bouncy seat inside her crib the last few days to keep her elevated to help with her reflux (thanks for letting us borrow that Aunt Patty!). We tried elevating her mattress, but either she kept slipping down or we had to put so many blankets in there to keep her in one place that the bed was starting to look like a SIDS nightmare. She was sleeping in her car seat for a few days, but I just didn't like the looks of that. I couldn't shake the feeling that being scrunched in that seat for so many hours per day was stunting her growth.

2. Did you use all that breast milk in the freezer yet?

Nope, still working on that. We should be done with it in about two weeks. Then it's on to that yummy formula.

3. Is she sleeping through the night?

Nope, still working on that. She 's only getting up once during the night since she's still kind of small to go that long without consuming any calories. Keep in mind that even though she was born in October, Peanut is really still a newborn. Doctors will use what they call "adjusted age" to determine where she should be developmentally until she's around 12-18 mnths. Adjusted age is calculated from my due date, so being that Charlotte was due on January 30th her adjusted age is currently 2 1/2 weeks. Sometimes this can be a little tricky because in some respects she's older than 2 1/2 weeks because she's been around for awhile (i.e. she's already on a schedule and eats more than your typical newborn), but in other ways it really is like she just came out of the womb (i.e. she still has very limited awake time and we get excited when she lifts her head up).

4. How much does she weigh?

I ask every other new parent that question. I think I'm obsessed with weight now. She's around 6 1/2 pounds.

5. How are her eyes?

As of this past Monday they are starting to get better! Yay! So it's starting to look like she won't need the laser surgery. We're not totally out of the woods yet, but the doctor said the blood vessels are starting to recede and maybe we'll only have to go see him three or four more times.

6. How long does she have to be on oxygen?

Depends on how quickly her lungs heal. Her lungs were damaged from both the ventilator and from just being premature. As she gets stonger and has more reserves (i.e. fat) her lungs will be able to heal faster. From what I've gathered from her home nurse, Nancy, she will need to be stable for a few days on her current O2 level before we get the OK from her or her doctor to start weening her down. Brian and I are allowed to go higher than her current O2 level if she's having any problems, but we're not allowed to go lower without authorization from a doctor or nurse.

7. How are YOU guys doing?

Pretty darn good. Loving having Peanut home. We seem to be getting ample sleep. Brian and I switch off on the pm feedings so we each get a relatively decent stretch of sleep. My sleep has been a little weird over the past few days as I'm getting used to my new mouth guard. Turns out that I don't have enough of an overbite and since I clench my jaw when I sleep this can result in cracked or chipped teeth (which actually did happen during labor). Let me tell you, nothin' says SEXY like a mouth guard. I don't know how I feel about it yet, but everyone whom I've talked to who has one swears by it.

I don't think I told y'all, but Brian became a U.S. citizen in January. In the grand sceme of things it really doesn't change much, but hopefully we've got another Democrat voting in '08! And no, he didn't have to give up his NZ citizenship. He had to "renounce" it during the ceremony, but he didn't have to give up his passport or anything. Technicality.

If anyone has any other questions please post them in the comments section and I'll do my best to give you an answer.

There's 6 Pounds of Lovin' Sleepin' in the Other Room!

She's here, she's sleeping, AND she's 6 pounds! Peanut came home on Tuesday (2/6) and so far (knock on wood) everything has been going great. She's still suffering from acid reflux, but a lot of babies have that and we'll just have to deal with it until she grows out of it. Here's a pic of her sleeping in her crib right after we brought her home.

The doctors did a bit of "fine tuning" while Charlotte was at the hospital. They put her on a few new medications to help the reflux and to help her digest her food a bit faster. They did a scan at the hospital where they put some radioactive stuff in her milk and then took x-ray shots of the milk going down as she drank it. They were able to determine that she wasn't having problems drinking the milk, but she also wasn't digesting it very well. It seems that three hours after a feeding she still had at least half of the previous feeding left in her stomach, which can add to the whole reflux problem. So now she's taking some meds to help her digestive tract move a little faster. Unfortunately, it makes her sound like WW3 is going on in her stomach. I'm just hoping that we're not creating a problem by solving another!

Having Charlotte in the hospital was a good opportunity for me to get my confidence back when it comes to feeding her. She really scared the crap out of me when we had her home before, and even when I would feed her at the hospital I would tense up. I tried to feed her as much as possible over the last two weeks and I think it really helped. Granted, she still holds her breath every now and then, but now I'm more confident that a couple good whacks on the back are going to wake her up. "Wake up, Missy!!"

Charlotte is still on oxygen and needs to be hooked up to the apnea monitor at all times. This can be a bit annoying sometimes because the oxygen confines her to her room. Hopefully she won't have to be on the O2 for too long. I'm thinking maybe 2 months, or so.

It looks like our social life is going to consist of doctor appointments and home nursing visits for awhile. But I encourage everyone to please feel free to give me a call if you wanna chat! I have a feeling that cabin fever might hit pretty soon! I'll post more pics of Peanut in the next few days.

Peanut was in Da House (for a couple days)

Yes, it's true, she was here! Charlotte came home from the hospital last Friday (1/19). Her hernia surgery went well, and after two more eye exams it has been determined that she still does not need the surgery. We will continue to go to the Ophthalmologist every week for a few months, and hopefully he'll just keep giving us the same verdict.

When we brought her home I was so excited to see how the dogs were going to react to her. They could have cared less. They were not impressed. They gave her a sniff and that's pretty much the last interaction they've had.

Things were going great the first couple of days. She came home with a feeding tube, but we removed the tube on Sunday since she had been taking all of her feedings by bottle. She also came home on oxygen, which comes with an apnea monitor that lets you know if she's a) not breathing, or b) her heart rate has gone above or below predetermined levels. She's also on a monitor that measures the oxygen saturation in her blood. That monitor goes off if her saturation falls below 90% ("desat"). This means that everytime she holds her breath to take a poop (which seems like it happens every few minutes) the alarm goes off. It's reassuring to have the monitors attached to her, but of course we still check her every few minutes to make sure she's OK.

Things started to go not so great on Monday when she began to desat each time I fed her. She never did it for Brian, though. What's up with that? The first couple times her saturation went down to the 80s, then it started going to the 70s. On Monday night she had a bad episode where it fell into the 30s and she turned blue. That's definitely something that no parent should ever have to see. We were able to stimulate her and bring her back to normal without doing CPR, but we were both close to starting. At that point, we decided that maybe she needed a rest from the bottle, so we put a feeding tube in. We gave her a few feedings through the tube and things were going well until I went into her room the next morning and she had the tube in her hand and she was waving it over her head like, "Look what I have!". We took her to the pediatrician on Tuesday and she told us that the desats were classic signs of acid reflux. From what I've heard, acid reflux is common among babies and people used to think it was just gas or colic. In preemies it can be even more of a health hazard because their nervous systems are so immature. When the acid comes up their espophagus their bodies basically shut down - their heart rate slows and they stop breathing. She's on medicine for reflux, but perhaps not enough or not the right medicine. We decided to try a couple different things and see if that worked, but when she had her next feeding at home she had another desaturation to the 40s and turned blue again. So we called her pediatrician and she arranged for us to take her back to the NICU for oberservation. As soon as I heard that she was going back there my stress almost completely went away. I want my little peanut home, but not if she's going to be doing that everytime I feed her. It was getting to the point where I was scared to death to feed her.

She will most likely be in the NICU for a few days. They are going to try and determine if acid reflux is the culprit or if maybe she's having issues with aspiration (aka "going down the wrong tube"). It's already weird not having her here, but I know she's in a safe place and she's in good hands.

Brian went back to work today after taking a couple days off to help get Charlotte settled, and it sounds like he's really enjoying his new position. He seems much busier than he was before, but he's gotta keep busy so we can afford for me to stay at home and eat bon bons. Where do you even get bon bons? Do they still make them?

I think that's enough drama for one post.

P.S. She's 4 pounds, 11 ounces.

False Alarm! No Peanuts Here!

Nope, Peanut didn't come home on Sunday. Nor did she come home on the next projected date, which was yesterday. I'm going to keep the next homecoming date to myself so I don't jinx anything. Let's put it this way, I'll just let y'all know when she gets here. I've heard from several people that the NICU tends to make parents superstitious, and that definitely rings true for me.

Charlotte's eye exam was fine last week and the doctor even said he thought she wasn't going to need the laser surgery at all. That surprised me. The blood vessels had been growing rapidly, so I was sure she was going to need the surgery. But she had another exam on Wednesday of this week and he still thinks she's doing OK. She will get checked on Monday and every week after that for the next few months. Hopefully the verdict will remain the same.

So we may have dodged the eye surgery bullet for now, but we didn't dodge the hernia bullet .... last Thursday they found a hernia on the left side of her abdomen and she was scheduled for surgery on Tuesday (1/16). The surgery went fine, and they sewed up her right side as well, as a preventative measure. So no tub baths for a few days, but we're all about sponge baths!

Keep tuning in, because hopefully over the next few days I'll have some pics of me rocking with little Peanut in her room!

***DISCLAIMER*** Cross your fingers while reading!!

***Before you read this post I want you to cross your fingers, knock on wood, rub your belly and tap your head .... anything and everything you need to do to make sure we don't jinx anything.***

Pending the outcome of her eye exam today, Peanut is scheduled to come home on Sunday. As in January 14th. As in three days from now. The doctors have been watching her eyes weekly to make sure that the blood vessels in there are growing properly, which they're not. When they start to grow all crazy they can attach themselves to the retina and even detach the retina causing blindness (that's why Stevie Wonder is blind). If the blood vessels don't stop growing she will need laser surgery on both eyes to stop the advancement. For that surgery she will need to be put on both the paralyzing drug and the ventilator, so she would need to be in the hospital for a few days. Therefore, if they think she is going to need that surgery in the very near future there's no sense in sending her home only to have to turn around and readmit her in a few days. As much as I'm itching to have her home I would rather wait until she's ready. The doctors are also performing a sleep study on her today to see why her oxygen saturation still drops every now and then. They put a bunch of straps and probes in and on her and watch her for 12 hours to determine if she's having problems with acid reflux or apnea. Both of these can be controlled with medicine - prilosec for the former and caffeine for the latter. And yes, I already asked, and no, she can't have coffee. So, in the next 24 hours after her eye exam and sleep study we will know more. Either way, she should be home within the next 1.5 weeks (again, knock on wood).

In the last two weeks Charlotte has been growing by leaps and bounds. Yesterday, she weighed in at 4 pounds, 1 ounce. She's also taking almost all of her feedings by bottle. Getting all that sucking, breathing and swallowing coordinated is difficult. One of the nurses suggested that I try to suck on a bottle to see just how difficult it really is and HOLY COW! Give it a try if you ever get the opportunity. It's really hard! I actually hurt myself trying to get something out of the nipple.

We did get a bit of not-so-good news the other day when she failed two hearing tests. The tests weren't very accurate as far as what she could and couldn't hear, but I was told that she probably had some degree of hearing loss. HOWEVER, after several requests I was able to get a ENT doctor to have a look at her ears and she has fluid in both canals. So, we're hoping that that is the culprit and she's been put on antibiotics and we'll bring her back for a retest in a month. Like everything else, we'll just take it as it comes and keep our fingers crossed.

Brian is going to be starting a new position with his company over the next few days and he's pretty excited about that. His territory will still be close to home, but he's going to be adding some new clients to his repetoire and he'll be focusing more on sales. The plan is for him to relinquish his pick-up for another smaller vehicle at some point, so we're a little bummed about that.

Speaking of vehicles, I have a 2001 Chevy Venture Warner Brothers Edition minivan for sale that seats 7. Let me know if you or anyone you know might be interested.

We hope everyone had a safe and happy new years! We celebrated the new year with Charlotte at the hospital, however we were on our way home to bed by 12.05am. I guess the days of drunken debauchery are over for awhile.

Peanut's First Christmas

It's sad what the nurses and I will come up with for entertainment purposes. Isn't she cute??

Whenever I see this pic of her and her teddy bear I think of that doll back in the eighties that was called My Buddy and the song that went with it ... My Buddy ... My Buddy and Me!!!! I'm going to be singing that all day now. I hope you will, too.

got milk?

I do.

Impressed?

I am.

Just hear those sleigh bells ring-a-ling ....

The last week has been CRAZY!!! Things were moving along just fine (Charlotte was even starting to drink a little bit from a bottle), and then on Friday morning she got ANOTHER infection and they had to put the ventilator back on. She just can't get a break. This one came through her IV line just like the last one, so they had to take it out and put another one in a few days later. One of the nurses explained to me that the blood infections are usually caused by bacteria that live on her skin, however, when those bacteria get into her blood stream her immune system is too immature to fight them off. An adult's immune system is typically advanced enough to handle that little amount of bacteria. Hopefully in a few days her feedings will have increased enough that they can remove that main IV line and there will be one less source for infection to enter her body.

Now that's she's "older" (we just passed the 35 week mark gestationally, meaning she's still 5 weeks premature) Charlotte is treated like any other newborn that gets a fever and an infection - meaning they had to give her a spinal tap to see if she had meningitis. Luckily everything came back normal on that culture.

But there is a happy ending to this saga. Brian and I got a call last night around 7pm and Charlotte pulled out her tube on her own. They weren't even planning to try and extubate her until later in the week, but Charlotte knows best. I went to see her last night and she seemed pretty tuckered-out, but she looked great and more content than she had been over the weekend. And *yay!* today I get to dress her, and love her and squeeze her and call her George (if you haven't seen that Looney Tunes episode then don't worry)!

On Friday, Charlotte received her first haircut due to a failed IV attempt. It sounds horrible, but it's actually quite common. You can see in the photo how her head is shaved a bit on the side. The other side is shaved as well, so she now has her first mohawk. It's never to early to express yourself.

I'd like to send a shout-out to the folks at Ecolab for all the wonderful gifts you sent over! Thank you so much for all the diapers, wipes, outfits, blanket, pillow, bibs, gift card - we appreciate everything you did. Although, I'd like to apologize for my husband who neglected to open the gifts in front of everyone. I told him that he denied everyone their chance to oooh and aaah. But he's a man, so we need to cut him a little bit of slack. In the summer, when Charlotte can get around I will definitely bring her over to the office.

I hope that everyone had a great Christmas and that Santa was good to you. My parents got me a jogging stroller so that Charlotte and I can run around the neighborhood next summer. It even has speakers and a hook up for my MP3 player. wow! My best gift of all was being able to hold Charlotte yesterday even while she was on the ventilator. It's amazing what some snuggles and kisses can do for you.

On Christmas Eve my family came to my house to enjoy our traditional Christmas chop suey. Later that evening Brian and I went to the hospital and read a bit to Charlotte. That is until daddy fell asleep. He gave the nurses quite a giggle.

SANTA!!!!!

Ho! Ho! Ho! Santa stopped by the NICU yesterday for a chat with the parents and a quick pat on the head for all the babies. It was so great of him to come by. For a moment it felt like everything was normal for us parents. No tubes, no incubators, no wires - just us, our babies and the excitement of Christmas. People like Santa are just frickin awesome!

I even got a pic of all of us. This will come in handy just in case Charlotte gets a KrisKringlephobia like I had. Yes, I was scared of Santa growing up. My mother didn't get a decent picture of me on Santa's lap until I was almost 20. Hopefully Charlotte won't have that same irrational fear (but he is kind of intimidating...).

Our family room is complete and over the last few days I have been getting Charlotte's room ready. I have a couple more things to hang on the wall and then it's pretty much ready. Our house is almost back in order. We still have to finish the laundry room, but that's been put on the back burner until after Christmas. It's time to stop for a moment and just enjoy the season.

I went into my work this past Monday and handed in my resignation. Yep, I am officially a stay-at-home mom now. It feels weird being unemployed, but I'm glad that we can do this and that I can be there to take care of my little peanut when she comes home.

Speaking of our little peanut, she is doing great. As of yesterday, she was up to 3 pounds, 2 ounces. We think that quite a bit of that is water weight, which is supposedly quite common with preemies. I'm able to interact with her a lot more now - give her baths, change her clothes and even change her poopy diapers. I still get excited everytime I can change a diaper. I'm sure one day the thrill will wear off.

Here's a couple more pics. The first one is Charlotte showing off her new booties that one of the nurses gave her. Everytime I see this picture I think "Wow, she's getting so big", which she is, but check out the hands of the nurse holding her and that puts things into persepctive. The second one is our "family Christmas picture". I realize that it's not very Christmasy, but at least Brian and I put on a nice top.

FAQs

1. When is Charlotte coming home?
The doctors don't like to pinpoint a specific time, because they don't want you to hold them accountable to that. However, they do tell you that most of their premature babies will go home sometime around their due date. Charlotte was due on January 30th. There is a possibility that she could go home earlier, but that may require her to come home on oxygen or still eating with a feeding tube. Two options that we are willing to work with in order to have her home as soon as possible. The criteria for allowing her to go home is not a specific weight, but just that she is gaining weight, she's strong and that she is not having frequent drops in her stats (i.e. blood pressure, heart rate, and oxygen saturation).

2. Are you going back to work?
Not at present.

3. Are you moving anywhere?
Not at present.

4. How often do you go to the hospital?
Since I can't get my ass out of bed before 8am, I don't go in the mornings. Between 9am-noon, the NICU is "closed" while the doctors and nurses do their rounds. That's mainly for privacy reasons so that you don't hear the business of the other families around you. This works out pretty well for me because then I can take the morning for myself and get errands done or take care of things around the house (i.e. sit on the phone with insurance companies). Usually I go to the hospital around noon, stay until dinner time, come home and eat and then go back in the evening. So, if anyone ever wants to get ahold of me I would suggest calling me before 11am.

5. How is she doing?
Charlotte is doing great. Yesterday the doctors had planned to take her off of the ventilator again, but the little pip-squeak just couldn't wait and she took it out herself. She starting to wear clothes, which may not sound like a big deal, but anything that brings her into the realm of "normalcy" makes me so happy. And plus, she looks so darn cute in her teeny-tiny onesies. I'll try and get a pic today. She has been diagnosed with chronic lung disease (bronchopulmonary dysplasia to be exact), which means that with her lungs being so premature and her having already gone through two bad infections, she will be easily succeptible to lung infections. The nurses have told me that she can grow out of this in a year, but she will more than likely be left with asthma and will probably get chest colds more easily than other kids. So, don't be surprised if you see us constructing a bubble outside of our house when we get her home.
I read the other day in a book that Charlotte means "little, strong, courageous woman", and that is exactly what she is. Everytime I look at her she gives me strength.

6. Is she eating?
Yes, Charlotte is being fed breast-milk every two hours through a feeding tube. They increase the amount each day as she tolerates. Today she should be getting 6cc every two hours. The milk is supplemented by IV fats and other nutrients. Once she gets up around 13 or 14 ccs they will take her off the IV fluids. Next week they might let her try a bottle. At the moment her mouth is too small for any of the nipples and they don't want her to choke on it.

7. How much does she weigh?
2 pounds 10 ounces. The goal is for her to gain .5-1 ounce per day.

8. Are you sending out Christmas cards this year (no one has actually asked this, but I wanted to address it)?
No. I'm shooting for Casimir Pulaski Day cards this year (http://www.eiu.edu/~insight/pulaski/pulaski.htm). Or maybe just sometime in the new year. So, let me take this time to say Merry Christmas -Love, Brian, Mandi and Charlotte.

Two Steps Forward ... Two Steps Back

I haven't been on the computer much over the past week. Hence a week with no posts. I was busy enjoying my daughter. Last Monday Indiana Grandma got to hold her for the first time (see picture) and I got to hold her all week for hours and just watch her facial expressions. Unfortunately, Brian got a cold near the end of the week so he hasn't been able to hold her for awhile. But as long as he wore a mask he could go in and see her.

I got some good news from my hematologist last Tuesday and I don't have to take my twice daily blood thinner shots anymore. Hallelujah!! I feel so free. I also received some good news from my OB last Friday at my last appointment, and after seven long months of waiting I can finally do situps again! Seriously, I'm excited.

With her feedings increasing daily last week, Charlotte has started to put on weight. As of the last weigh-in she weighed 2lbs 4 oz (1.02 kilo) and measured 14 inches. Some of her saggy skin is finally starting to fill in. Yay!

But, as we already know, things don't stay smooth sailing forever in the NICU. Saturday night Charlotte started to have hourly heart rate drops and lots of fluid coming up from her lungs, which resulted in her having to be put on the ventilator again. Yesterday the doctors found some bacteria growing in a culture taken in the morning, and they have concluded that she has an infection in one of her IV lines. Why don't they just take it out, you ask? It's not quite that easy. This IV goes into her arm, up her arm, across her chest and ends directly above her heart so that they can get medication and nutrients to the right place quickly. Not the easiest thing to insert. So, in the immediate future, the doctors are giving her a cocktail of antibiotics through that line in the hopes that it will not only get rid of the infection in the rest of her body, but also clean out that line. The doctors are hoping that as soon as the antibiotics kick in they can start weaning her off of the ventilator.

AAArgh! I swear, when I look in the mirror I can see myself aging right before my eyes! By the time Charlotte gets home I'm going to be ready for assisted living, which may not be all that bad ....

Daddy's Little Girl

Lots of good changes over the last two days!! Charlotte was taken off the paralyzing drug the other day and she seemed quite calm and rested afterwards. They started feeding her breast-milk again - 1cc every 3 hours, and that amount should start to increase soon. And the best one of all - they took her off the ventilator yesterday and she's breathing on her own! Fingers-crossed that she's able to stay off this time!

Right after they took the ventilator tube out and before they put the oxygen tube up her nose I was able to get a pic of what our little peanut looks like tube-less. Man, was she ever pissed off that she had been woken up for this! It appears as though she has my nose, but beyond that I'm not very good at picking out similar body features. (And see that guy holding Charlotte's head? That's Ed, my acupuncturist. He doubles as a Respiratory Therapist at Loyola. Seems quite fitting that he helped us to have Charlotte and now he's helping her get better.)

We were going to wait until today to hold her, so as to not overstimulate her, but the night nurse saw no need to wait. So, last night Brian got to hold his little girl for the first time. I can tell that she's already got him wrapped around her little, itty-bitty finger. Look at her - she's already trying to figure out how she can get daddy to buy her a plasma TV for her crib.

Yesterday was a very good day! I'm looking forward to many more days like that.

Like Mother, Like Daughter

Not too much has changed since my last post. Charlotte appears to be over the pneumonia infection, but her lungs are going to take awhile to heal. On Sunday she was switched back to the normal ventilator, but all her settings have remained pretty high and they're trying to wean her settings down VERY, VERY slowly.
She was off of the paralyzing drug for almost 24 hours, but again she was too fidgety and feisty and they had to put her back on. But I did get a photo of her taking a quick little snooze in between kicking and waving her arms about (more like passed out from exhaustion). She reminds me of her mother after a few too many glasses of wine.
For the next few days she will be undergoing some steroid therapy and we're all hoping that opens and clears her lungs so they can try and wean her off the ventilator again. Hopefully by next week her daddy will be able to hold her. Maybe they can even kangaroo and she can pull out some of his chest hair:-)
I hope that everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving. Even though Brian and I have had a very difficult year we still have a lot to be thankful for - our time with our sons, our beautiful daughter, each other, our family and friends. Going through this has really changed my perspective on life and put my priorities in order - life is way too short.

We've Got a Two Pounder

As of yesterday Charlotte is officially two pounds! That may not sound like a lot to most people, but to us that's a huge milestone. Granted some of that weight may be from waterweight that accumulated while she was immobile this past week, but it's still two pounds!
One of the tests sent earlier this week checking for infection came back positive today and the doctors seem pretty sure that Charlotte had pneumonia. Thankfully, from the start they have been treating her with the antibiotics that target pneumonia , so the infection should be on its way out. The infection has taken quite a toll on her lungs and she will probably have to be on the ventilator for awhile longer. At the moment she's on the "new" ventilator they have, which gives her 600 breaths/minute. Supposedly this ventilator does less damage to the lungs than a traditional ventilator, but because it delivers so many breaths per minute she usually needs to be paralyzed to help her relax. I hate to see her paralyzed because she can still hear what's going on and feel people touch her, but she can't move or respond. I'm hoping that by tomorrow they'll be able to take her off that drug and she'll be back to doing her hourly aerobic routines.
Several people have asked me what she's eating. At the moment just fats and other nutrients delivered via IV, but she has been able to get breast-milk off and on, depending on how stable she is (1cc every 6 hrs - mice eat more than that). There's talk of starting her back on the milk tomorrow and I really hope so because a) she needs to get some meat on those bones, and b) I'm running out of room in our freezer for the milk.

Ups and Downs

When they told me at the NICU that it would be a roller coaster ride I didn't realize the ups and downs would be so dramatic. I expected a few dips in the road, but not like this past weekend. The middle of last week was great for Charlotte. On Wednesday Charlotte was having some difficulty with her breathing tube - either there was a leak or it wasn't in place correctly, no one could tell exactly - so the doctor decided to take it out and see how she did breathing on her own. With a very nervous mommy standing by they took out the breathing tube, turned off the ventilator and my little girl was breathing on her own! We were warned that it's very rare for babies this tiny to be able to stay off for a prolonged period of time, but every day that she can be off the ventilator means less damage to her lungs. Charlotte was able to stay off until Friday afternoon. Just long enough to be held twice by her mom.

The first time I held her in my arms and I got to really experience how tiny she is, but she cooed at me and had her eyes open most of the time. I have to say that was probably the happiest moment of my life and one of the few times during this experience that I really felt like a mom. The second time I held Charlotte was on Friday and they stuffed her down the front of my shirt so that she could "kangaroo". I don't know how well known "kangarooing" is, but it's a method developed in South America as a way of keeping premature babies warm through skin-to-skin contact. Supposedly it's very effective in keeping their heartrate and breathing stable. It was kind of an odd sensation for me because I couldn't really see her and it felt like someone had put a hamster down my shirt.

Shortly after I held her for the second time she started to show signs of distress, so the staff put her breathing tube back in and put her back on the ventilator. Basically all weekend long she's been fighting a pretty nasty infection and she's been very sick. All of her cultures have come back negative, which sounds like a good thing, but it would be easier for them to treat her if they knew exactly what they're up against. The last 24 hours have been better and while it's going to take her awhile to recooperate from this episode we're happy to finally see signs of improvement.

So, as we have been, we just take things day by day. Actually, more like hour by hour.

Brian and my father have made quite a bit of headway on our family room (formerly the attached garage). Almost all of the insulation is up and they've started drywalling the ceiling. Hopefully by the end of this weekend all of the drywall will be up and Brian can start taping.

Little Kisses

There is a nurse in the NICU who makes Halloween costumes for all the babies on Halloween and then the other nurses take pics for the parents. It's pretty funny to see some of these kids dressed up. My favorite (after my own children, of course) was this little baby girl that was dressed up as a "little wench". It was hilarious! I hope her parents weren't pissed off. Charlotte, Gus and Jake were all Hershey's kisses.

Two Months Later

For those that are checking here for updates on the babies, I apologize for taking so long to post something. It's been pretty hectic around here and I haven't had the opportunity, nor the energy to sit down and type. As most people probably know our son Jake passed away last Thursday on November 2nd. Our other son, Gus, passed away on Monday night (Nov. 6). Both of our sons died due to complications from being premature. We are so lucky to have been able to spend the time we had with both of them and we are comforted by the fact that they are now together in a safe and loving place.

Thank you to everyone who has offered their help and support. Brian and I don't really need anything at this point - we're remembering to eat and sleep - and we are putting all of our energy and focus on Charlotte. If anyone would like to make any memorials please send your donations to March of Dimes at www.marchofdimes.com. The March of Dimes donates a lot to the NICUs. Every hat and blanket you see in the pictures has been donated by them.

I'll back up a bit for those who haven't heard what happened over the past few weeks. I went to the doctor on Oct. 10th when I was 24 wks pregnant only to find out that I was 1 cm dilated and having regular contractions. After pumping me full of meds to stop the contractions I stayed at the hospital for four days just to remain under observation and make sure that I didn't start going into labor again. Shortly after midnight on Oct. 23rd Brian and I went to Labor and Delivery because I was having contractions again. At this point they realized that my water had broken, which meant I would have to be hospitalized for the remainder of my pregnancy. I was hoping that the remainder of my pregnancy would be longer than 12 hours, but it didn't turn out that way.

At 9am I was feeling fine, the contractions had stopped, and I hadn't dilated any further. The nurses were even trying to sort out which room to put me in for my "long" stay. At 2pm I was fully dilated and the doctor told me my daughter had black hair. It's amazing how quickly things can change! It's also amazing how quickly the staff moves at L&D. At 2:02pm I was on the phone telling Brian to get his ass over there as fast as possible and at 2:14pm I was out cold and the triplets had been welcomed to this world.




First out was Charlotte Martina, weighing in at 1 lb. 6 ounces. Charlotte always seems to want her hands waving above her head and she just never stops moving around! I think I'm really going to have my hands full with her! :)










Next was Gus Philip at 1 lb. 13 ounces. He was the biggest of the three. However you can see how small he actually was next to Brian's hand.














And rounding out the trio was Jake Lachlan, who weighed
1 pound 9 ounces. Jake had such long limbs. We have no idea whose side that came from.



Life in the NICU is pretty much a roller coaster ride. One minute you've taken a step forward and something good has happened and the next minute you've taken two steps back. But I'm constantly amazed at how wonderful the staff are there. I don't how they do it, but they've created such an open, warm and caring environment.

Of course, I'll still be glad to get out of there when Charlotte comes home!

Speaking of Charlotte, she is doing well today. She had a rough weekend and her lungs were having some problems, but they gave her a few rounds of steroids and she seems to be doing much better!

Tomorrow I'll try and post some pics from Halloween (oh yes, we had costumes) and I'll show you Charlotte's new home (no more saran wrap roof - which for those who might be wondering is actually a good thing because it contains the humidity to moisten their skin).